


Moving forward

by InsaneNerdGirl



Series: 9-1-1 Family Feels [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: (the second is only inferred), Angst, Athena Grant and Bobby Nash are Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Athena Grant is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Bobby Nash is Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Parent Athena Grant, Son!Buck, The hurt all happened in the previous fic... tags for that apply here, This is more comfort than hurt btw, mom!Athena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26253619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneNerdGirl/pseuds/InsaneNerdGirl
Summary: Buck goes to talk to Bobby, but when he is out Athena steps into a mothering role and offers Buck the advice and comfort he didn't know he needed
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: 9-1-1 Family Feels [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907290
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	Moving forward

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still in the planning stages of my multi-chapter Buck-centric sequel to [Helpless](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001287/chapters/60537175), but until that is well and truly underway have a one-shot.  
> You don't really have to read the original story before reading this one, although I would recommend it. Everything that happens here is pretty self explanatory.
> 
> Beta'd by the fantastic perfectlynervousbeard

Athena took a sip of wine as she turned the page of her book. The rain that had only started falling a few minutes ago had already reached a torrential downpour. She shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position on the couch and stretched her legs closer to the fire in her fireplace. She closed her eyes as she savored her wine, enjoying the peaceful sound of rain falling outside.

A knock on the door startled her out of her comfortable reverie. “What on earth?” she asked aloud, setting aside her book and drink.

The knock sounded again as she walked up to the front door. She hurried up the last couple of steps, worried now, and opened the door.

“Buck?”

Buck was standing forlornly on her front porch, soaking wet from the short walk to the door. Athena had never seen him look more miserable, or more ready to cry. She pulled the door open wide.

“Buck, come on in out of the rain!” she scolded, drawing him indoors. “What are you doing here? And where’s Christopher?”

Buck shrugged out of his sopping jacket. “Maddie is watching Chris,” he told her.

She led him down to the living room, gesturing for him to sit. “Is everything okay, Buck?”

Buck blinked, and Athena pretended not to notice the tears shining in his eyes. “Um… I was actually hoping to talk with Bobby. Is he here?”

“He ran to the store,” she told him, sitting down in the chair next to his. “Is everything okay?”

“I just…” Buck’s voice caught in his throat and he looked down at his hands. “I needed to talk to him.” A tear slid down his cheek.

“About Eddie?” Athena guessed.

Buck nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve in a very child-like way. Athena shoved down an urge to take him in her arms and comfort him as if he was just a little boy. She didn’t think he would appreciate it right now.

“It’s my fault he’s gone,” Buck whispered. “I should have been more…”

“Don’t!” Athena interrupted, her voice cracking as she shoved down the memory of her greatest heartache. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“But it’s true!” Buck protested, getting to his feet, eyes shining with unshed tears. “I got my best friend killed!” he turned away from Athena, wrapping his arms around himself. “I got the man I love killed,” he whispered.

Once again Athena pushed down the urge to gather Buck in her arms as she got to her feet, instead putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Eddie wouldn’t want you blaming yourself,” she told him softly.

“But it’s true!” Buck protested. “If I had been more careful he’d still be alive.”

Athena was silent for a moment, her heart aching for the young man beside her. “Buck,” she said finally, “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but blaming yourself for this won’t make it easier.”

“It won’t make it harder, though.” Buck’s voice was harsh.

“It did for me,” Athena confessed softly.

Buck turned towards her, looking confused. “What?”

Athena turned away from him, fighting back a wave of grief she wasn’t sure she wanted to share. Telling her family about Emmett was one thing, but she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to broadcast her pain to everybody.

“His name was Emmett,” she said finally, sitting down in her chair again. “We were engaged when…” she swallowed back the lump in her throat. Buck sat down on the couch, watching her intently. “You aren’t the only one who’s had someone you love taken away from you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

She reached out and gently touched Buck’s forearm. “For 30 years I blamed myself for his death. When we couldn’t find his killer, I punished the only other person I could. I thought…” she shrugged, pretending her hands weren’t trembling as she shared her grief. “I thought it would bring him peace, but all it did was weigh me down.”

She squeezed Buck’s arm. “I don’t want that to happen to you."

Buck looked down at his hands. “Does it get any easier?” He whispered hoarsely.

Athena wished she could lie; wished she could tell Buck that it would get easier with time. But he deserved the truth. “No.”

Buck turned away from her, hiding his face.

“That emptiness you’re feeling will never go away,” she told him softly. “But it won’t always hurt this much.”

“It should.”

Athena was taken aback. “What?”

“I don’t deserve for it to hurt less. I don’t have the right to miss him this much, so it _needs_ to never hurt less.”

Something inside Buck broke, and he seemed to crumble in front of her.

“I never told him. He never knew how I felt. So now the hurt is all I have.” He turned back towards her, not even trying to hide the tears now. “I was too big of a coward to tell him that I loved him, and now I don’t get to mourn him _as_ the man I loved; I don’t get to mourn him as the most important person in my life!”

Athena once again felt the urge to take him in her arms and comfort him, and this time she didn’t fight it. She moved to sit next to him on the couch, ignoring the ache of her still-healing shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a comforting hug. “It’s okay, Buck,” she whispered, stroking his hair gently like she would for May or Harry. “Just let it out.”

“I miss him so much,” Buck choked out between sobs, clutching her arm convulsively. “I can’t do this without him.”

There were so many things she should say, but she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat. All she could do was hold him even tighter and let him cry. All she could do was stroke his hair until the sobs began to quiet and the tears ran dry. All she could do was be there for him in this moment.

That would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me how I did.
> 
> If it made you feel an emotion, find an emoji to express it and leave it down below. Or leave an entire essay for me. Both kinds of comments are literally the best! <3


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